Monday, 11 May 2020
Today I will be telling you guys a story about the witch
Hello everyone today I will be reading a book about the witch.Once their were witchs around the city called witch land it was big and with lots of bad bad bad bad witch's and all the good humans wanted to kill those witches but they can't and they never tried so all the people said we need to kill the witches and there was 1 thousand people that wanted to kill the witch and there was 2 thousand witches so all the people came up with an idea so the king of the people spoke into a really really loudspeaker then he said we need to get ready to kill the witches and he said after that get your guns and planes and boats and cars and tanks and weapons so they all went into the planes and boats and cars and tanks and big big big planes the biggest plane in the world so they all went to the witch and it was like war so they arrived in 5 hours so the king said everybody land and get out of your cars and park your cars and boats so they all got ready for like a war so they all got ready and got their weapons and they and the witch came out and the king said 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 FIGHT so they all fight and then 5 witches died and no humans died yet so they keeped fighting untill it was 12 pm at night so everyone got tired so they all went home so in the war there was 50 people died and 300 witches died so everyone went home and they arived at 7 in the morning and they went to sleep but it was in the morning but they still sleeped and then they woke up at lunch time and they had lunch everyone said we nedd to kill those witches again so they went in there cars,tanks,airoplane,planes.boats and they went to witchland and the witches was making someguns and nifes and cars and hamer so they can smak thier head so they can die all the people arived and the witches had 5 carsals and 800 house and 500 tents and they heard all the people so the king witch said everybody hide and then all the people came and thort where are the witches and they they all goyt out of thier hidding spot and fight they all fight and fight the king sneaked up to the king witches wihe she watched all the peaople and witchs he went with a big water bottol then smaked her had and she went to sleed to he put her in jail so they all went back home and 200 hanreed witches died and 243 people died so it was the next morning and it was the final war and all the witches was allowed to fly and the planes to so they went to the witcheland and they all fight untill the next day they all the witches died and only 200 people servied and none of the witches servied exeped for the king witch in jail so they lived happily ever after the end.What was your guy's favorite part see ya later!!!!!!1.Bye-bye
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Hi Matthew,
ReplyDeleteWow! What a great draft! What gave you the idea to write about a witch?
One of my favourite stories, from when I was little, was Bad Jellie the Witch.
Next time you are writing a story, try writing it in a google Doc and then using the read & write app (It looks like a puzzle piece) to play it and see how it sounds to your reader. This will help you to figure out where the pauses are for Full stops and new sentences to begin. You can pause the app, add a full stop and begin a new sentence... then push play again. Remeber to add a space after punctuation (full stops and commas) as well.
WOW WOW WOW that is awesome Matthew keep it up.
ReplyDeleteHi Matthew I really liked the fact that you created this idea.You do need to work on fullstops and the need to pause throughout your story.Pauses give the story time so that the reader can digest the events.Well done for creating this original idea/story.Stay awesome.
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